CS: Do you ever paint from models?
PF: Yes and no. Having a model in my studio is very stressful and demanding, so when I am working on large paintings I prefer to be alone. I had to sit with myself, manage my inner voices, listen to them, and become unbiased. I have to endure the tantrums and listen while I stand up and say: enough is enough.
CS: So would you say you prefer to paint from photographs rather than from life?
PF: The process and results are so different, maybe so different that they can’t even be compared. While I do draw and paint from life, it feels like a completely separate body of work from what I am known for. My life work feels like another genre of painting and is not that interesting to me. My big creative paintings require me to create my own space and reality. I have to spend time with the painting and let it evolve. This is not a “look and let go” situation.
CS: What happens when you feel like the process is stalling?
PF: Sometimes an idea will stick in my head, but it’s still pending because I haven’t found a way to make it work. I’ll draw it out and see the problems, pitfalls, and clichés. I need to sit with it for a while and see if I can find a solution. Painting needs to stay on track. Sometimes they lose energy. Sometimes I find that I’ve been struggling with an idea for ten years, and then suddenly, I find a way to make it a painting.
CS: I’ve heard that autobiography plays an important role in your creative process. Would you like to describe a painting that has these roots?
PF: All of my paintings are triggered by real life experiences. A painting must function on multiple levels. It had to be in dialogue with paintings that already existed historically. It must contribute in some way and challenge known meanings. Painting must be self-aware. It must be visually exciting, but maybe not in an obvious or expected way. My painting “Awakening” came to mind. My elderly mother recently passed away. I stood there and watched her coffin being lowered into the ground. There is the obvious, literal funeral wake, but there is also an urgent awakening to the loss of life. I woke up from my dream and sat up. It was quiet and the sun was shining brightly, but I was still alive.
Historically, ‘family’ has had such a bland connotation to women, as if all freedom and eroticism had been leached out and stolen. “
CS: What happens when you feel like the process is stalling?
PF: Sometimes an idea will stick in my head, but it’s still pending because I haven’t found a way to make it work. I’ll draw it out and see the problems, pitfalls, and clichés. I need to sit with it for a while and see if I can find a solution. Painting needs to stay on track. Sometimes they lose energy. Sometimes I find that I’ve been struggling with an idea for ten years, and then suddenly, I find a way to make it a painting.
CS: I’ve heard that autobiography plays an important role in your creative process. Would you like to describe a painting that has these roots?
PF: All of my paintings are triggered by real life experiences. A painting must function on multiple levels. It had to be in dialogue with paintings that already existed historically. It must contribute in some way and challenge known meanings. Painting must be self-aware. It must be visually exciting, but maybe not in an obvious or expected way. My painting “Awakening” came to mind. My elderly mother recently passed away. I stood there and watched her coffin being lowered into the ground. There is the obvious, literal funeral wake, but there is also an urgent awakening to the loss of life. I sat up and woke up. It was quiet, the sun was shining, the atmosphere was warm – and I was alive. *
This article was first published in High Fructose Issue 50, which has been sold out. Subscribe to High Fructose here to get our latest print edition.
