Have you ever come home after a long, stressful day and felt more stressed than you did the moment you walked into the room? Or if you are at home all day with the kids and the chaos and noise you want to pull your hair out? Our homes can be a welcoming place or they can add to the chaos.
Over the years, I’ve been learning and experimenting with what it’s like to create a panic-friendly home system. I’ve shared pieces of this before, but I wanted to pull it all together in one place. These things worked well for me and I picked them up over time. Most of them are free, most are simple, but all of them are very simple.
The house is like an ally in our nervous system. Our environment reinforces safety signals or alarm signals all day long. And for most of us, especially moms, the home is where most of our nervous systems reside. A 2009 study even found a direct link between depression and stress in women.
My goal when I walk into my room is to look like my nervous system is hugging and comforting. It’s that feeling when your body relaxes and the tension starts to fade away, even if you don’t see it.
How Our Homes Speak to the Food System
Our nervous system is always in check. It detects light signals, sounds, visual disturbances, smells, temperatures, predictions, and social signals. These symptoms occur hundreds or thousands of times a day.
When those strategies are based on “insecurity,” our base systems are always in empathy mode, or fight-or-flight. When they rely on “security,” the body can rest in parasympathetic mode, where digestion, repair, bonding and sleep happen faster.
I talk a lot about diet and health supplements, but these cannot work properly when our nervous system is under constant stress. In this article, I walk through what made me different. See what works for you and what you want to add (or remove) to your space.
Light: The Main Nervous System Light in the Room
You’ve probably heard me talk a lot about fire, and that’s because I truly believe it’s one of the most important things we can send to the body. Lighting is a big safety or danger factor, and in most cases, the right kind of lighting is free or cheap. For me, light is at least as important as food and supplements. And really, it’s a know-it-all situation.
Getting sunlight first thing in the morning, preferably within an hour of sunrise, is a big thing that moves the needle. Some simple ways I do this include going outside as soon as I wake up, usually barefoot, and usually in pajamas. I open the shutters fully during the day, and I’ll open the windows too (yes, even when it’s cold!).
Morning sunlight
When the morning sunlight hits our eyes, it starts a hormonal cascade that helps bring everything into harmony. You’ll want to make sure there’s no light on windows or mirrors. Make sure you don’t look directly at the sun! And I know some people who wear blue glasses until they go outside, so the sunrise is the first thing that hits their eyes.
I like to combine this with other practices. If it’s not too cold, I’ll get my feet on the ground, do some on the ground, use mineral water to hydrate when I’m outside. I keep a quart of salt water and/or mineral water in my nightstand that is easy to grab.
During the day, we really need bright light. The blue light itself isn’t harmful, but it’s all about timing. In the best part of the day, the blue light shows readiness and metabolism, what we need. I also like to get a small “easy meal” by going outside in bright light for about 10 minutes in the afternoon.
In the room, I use full daylight, which is not good during the day.
Evening light show
The evening light was where I was most careful. In a perfect world, we are aware of our light environment when the sun goes down. Bright lights at night signal the body during the day and can cause stress in our nervous system.
Whenever possible, I try to eat first and give myself at least three hours before sleep without food and little light. I switch to a warm, low light bulb that mimics the effect of sunsets and fireworks. I use lamps instead of overhead lighting and keep the light at eye level or below. Our ancestors had low and light sources of light from candles and lamps.
When the sun goes down, I avoid bright lights and anything that shows daylight, including screens. When I need a mirror, I use a red filter or my day computer that doesn’t have a backlight for writing or creative work.
In my bedroom, I pull down the blackout shades when the sun goes down, block out the artificial light outside, and turn on small red light bulbs. I will read or draw and try not to be in the mirror. For me, the fire system and the nervous system are closely related.
Peace and Fear
Sound is another big trigger that people don’t always think to check. Home noise can affect cortisol and stress response, even when we think we have it sorted out. Things like constant loud TVs, constant displays, HVAC hums, appliances, or echoey rooms can be stressful.
There are often simple changes here. Adding textures can spoil the sound. Lowering or turning off the TV helps. White tones can be soothing. In my bedroom I use a Jaspr air filter and it gives really nice white noise.
Advertising is another big thing. My phone is always on silent or airplane mode. I don’t like vibration or sound, I only check it when I want, instead of reacting to notifications. At night, my phone goes in the charger drawer in the kitchen.
Temperature and Nervous System Protection
Heat is another stressor that is often overlooked. Extreme heat is stressful, but the lack of change can also be confusing. Interestingly, hot houses are associated with increased stress and stress hormones. A cool temperature, especially during sleep, supports the vagal tone.
During the day, I look for a comfortable place to sleep, but not too bright. At night, I keep my bedroom very clean, often in the 60s. Instead of cleaning the whole room, I like to bundle up in a warm blanket and use my Chilipad to cool the bed. Some of my best sleep is with the windows open and a nice blanket, even when it’s cool outside.
And while we’re on the topic of heat, using a sauna can help our bodies cope with stress. The sauna is known as a hormetic stressor, or a form of positive stress, which helps our body regulate itself better.
Perceived burden, forgiveness, and psychological stress
This is great, especially for women. This visual stress triggers our nervous system and increases stress levels. All we have is a small decision. I’ve heard the phrase, “Everything you have is a little bit of you,” and that resonates with me.
Research shows that women are more sensitive to weight loss than men. Relocation often represents unfinished business, which can add (you guessed it!) more stress. Over time, I focused more on simplicity and abstraction than planning. Clearing surfaces, creating neutral spaces, and using storage to hide visual noise can help.
For me, the fireplace as the entryway, the kitchen, and the seating in my room have made a difference. Calmness is not just an aesthetic, but a purposeful design feature.
Bring it outside
When I think of quiet space, being outside in nature is part of the picture. We are informed about the safety features provided by nature. There is compelling data that spending time in nature benefits the nervous system and psyche, even for short periods of time.
In the same way, bringing nature into the home can act as a protective signal. Natural materials such as wood, stone, clay, and natural fibers have an earthy feel. My house has a lot of natural light, and I have more than a few plants in my bedroom. I am adding more natural fabrics to my wardrobe and I love these natural fabrics.
I feel at ease when my home reflects nature, even in small ways.
Minerals are another way I bring nature into the home. I have a well made dock, sea salt in the kitchen, and a bath setup with Epsom salt, sea salt and essential oils. I keep a hydration section in my kitchen with baby mineral water that I add to drinks.
Landing is another aspect. I like to be barefoot outside, but indoors I also use natural fibers and blankets. I like sitting, not just sitting. Outdoor spaces like patios and deck chairs help blur the line between indoors and outdoors.
Nice corner and space
Emotional security is the foundation for our overall health. If our body is on edge in fight or flight mode, it is difficult to heal internal diseases. I find that a calm and quiet space in a room can be very controlling.
When my kids were little, indoor yoga and hanging chairs were calming for their nervous system. Movement is controlled for adults as well. Most of our swings live outside now that we live in a nice climate.
Create cozy nooks with warm blankets and inviting books. Try a heavy blanket, and create a quiet space to support the law. Important ceremonies and rituals are also important. Morning routines and bedtime routines show predictability and safety, especially for children who thrive on structured styles.
For me, evening rituals like sipping Cacao Calm or listening to calming music help signal that it’s time to calm down.
The room is like a nervous system repair station
If I had to prioritize one room, it would be the living room. Sleep is when repair happens, so the bedroom should support that as much as possible.
In my bedroom, I bring complete darkness with black curtains and no LEDs. I quiet the room, use white noise, reduce noise. I don’t have a TV or a mirror in the room, and I try not to bring my phone or computer. I don’t even have a wardrobe in my room as all my clothes live in the bedroom, out of sight!
I use cloths, cloths, and keep a nutrient solution in my port. The fire was low and warm in the evening, and I could feel my body relaxing immediately. It’s not so much about adding to space, but subtracting it. Eliminates devices, blue light, cables, confusion and reminders. My room is for sleeping and quiet.
The kitchen is like a dining space
The kitchen can also be a nervous system processing area. Hydration zones, visible minerals, and simple ingredients make eating easier and less stressful. Keeping surfaces uncomplicated and organized for simplicity reduces clutter. I will make sure that simple and healthy foods are available so that my children can easily grab things. The goal is to make the kitchen feel like a place to eat, not stress.
The Snowball Effect
What I love about this is that a nervous system-friendly home doesn’t have to be expensive. Many of the most influential changes are free. Opening the blinds and windows, turning off the overhead lights at night, turning down the noise, reducing noise, making the room quieter, and adding natural elements can change the nervous system.
This is for the logo, not the decoration. It’s not about having a beautiful home, high-quality furniture, or extreme minimalism where everything is white. It’s about turning your home into a nervous system partner. These small changes can have a ripple effect over time that can add up to big results.
Final Thoughts On Home Support Systems
Our home is constantly sending messages to our nervous system, whether we realize it or not. When the signals support security, the rules become easier and these small changes add up over time.
It’s not about having a perfect home, but learning to embrace peace more intentionally. These small changes can help you make your home work for you and your family’s health.
What are some ways you have (or would like to) create more peace in your home? Leave a comment and let us know!
